I Am David, My new favorite movie, a review

Being Autistic, there are few movies that I can whole heartedly relate to. "I Am David" is the exception.
Truth or fiction, doesn't really matter. This is the story of a young boy, who doesn't know how to smile and has experienced profound loss, abuse and neglect. He is completely on his own. I Get This.
He's taught the world is a terrible place, that there is no safe place and people are cruel. It's all he knew for his early years. He is told to trust no one and can't recognize good people from bad. I Get This.
People pry with that introductory question "where's your family?" It's like, the universal neurotypical greeting because the majority of persons have someone that loves them, misses them and is waiting for them at home. David has no one. Yes, I can relate. A child completely on his own, uncared for and unmissed.
It's a rarity to find a film with a plethora of parallels to my own life and suffering.
And the hope...the wish of …

I talk with my hands, I can read my distress

My hands are the external barometer for any internal distress. If I awaken, as has been the case for a week now, with flapping or shaking hands, I know that I am above the ordinary limit of sensory overload and high stress. Those days are best spent laying low, in bed or quietly hiding in my room.
Throughout any given day, I am given the gift of hands that portray my inner turmoil or calm. All I need do is become aware of what my hands are telling me and seek shelter in flapping storms.
The other hand sign is when my fingers are splayed, straight, unmoving rigid and stiff. This means I can no longer process any new information and I need to shutdown. It's like muscle tension tells me how high my distress is.
Oh, I'm still not fluid with words...but I had this to say, eloquent or naught.

Moving to a New House, Autism, Aspergers and Mutism

I moved to a huge townhouse from a small, cramped one bedroom apartment last week. I have rarely been able to talk since as I am thoroughly overwhelmed by, well, everything. I haven't been able to speak to my therapist or friends about this heap of issues.
My Mutism..its like, I'm standing at the top of a mountain full of fears, concerns, questions and comments...if I get these stressors down to a certain level, I can talk. No sooner do I get the levels down then I'm hit with a new conversation, new things I must do and try to understand, then I'm back in mute mode. It's been very sporadic and unpredictable, the times I can talk and the times I can't. It's best to stay inside and avoid the possibility of not being able to speak.
It's embarrassing. The distress from being in a larger place presents a huge number of new issues.
There is finances to manage, figuring out what things can be bought for the house and which can wait. And more, there are so man…

Aspergers and Selective Mutism


Selective Mutism and Aspergers Autistic Adults


Will I Ever "Outgrow" My Child Abuse, Being Hungry and Starved

I've caught myself monitoring my thinking, not easy for someone with a Dissociative Disorder, but it happened. I was dismayed to become aware of how many dozens of times, in any given day, that my thinking took me to the old times of daily childhood abuses.
Today, I found myself clapping after completing a trip to the grocery store and filling the cupboards. I spent the better part of my childhood hungry...very, very hungry for days at a time. I'm haunted by the memories of hunger. I wonder if I'll ever accept that there will always be food in the house.
I'm frozen. So much more I was going to write, however, that last paragraph has me going in all directions.
Since I have Multiple Personality Disorder, MPD, I wonder a) how many of my different parts or different people, as I call them, suffered with the irrepressible, unmitigating and gnawing hunger? In order to derail this train of thought, will I have to address it with each alternate personality, one by one? Or i…

Best, Unusual Dog Names

In no particular order:
For small dogs: Mister Big, Giant, Thumbtack, Spot, Ladybug, Dimi, Nightlight, Puddles, Twinkie, Petal, Bob, Titan, Puck
Any size: Mister Whiskers, Meow, Kitty, Hound, Twinkles, Starbright, Mott, Kato, Clem or Clementine, Purple Rain, Amor, Dodger, Fish, Knickers, Leif, Beghard, Behemoth, Behest, Periwinkle, Petra, Amigo, Madre, Puddles, Cupid, Angelo, Rasputin, Rapunzel, Muzzle, Freebies, Flight, Eagle, Heron, The Super, Gungadin, Guido, Hypno, Judge, Mega, Wasabi, Murmur, Gumby, Neon, Sparkle, Paramour, Quinn, Quiche Lorraine, Red, Rover, Luna, Ross, Scrum, Simon, Bull, Toucan Sam, Monk, Belfry, Vida, Vicar, the city you were born in or a favorite city
Big Dogs: Horse, Pica, Moose, Mouse, Vice, Rule, Half-Pint, Tulip, Stan, Modesty, Petty, Tut, Iota, Eatsalot, Jaguar, Majesty, King, Pawn, Prawn, Domino, Old Bean, Linus, Midge, Sarge, Major, Magna, Minnie, Brawn, Merit, Nomad, Duck, Pebbles